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In the wake of the Great Pandemic, my local friends have been reaching out feelers towards group play gatherings again. Not RPGs, but good ol’ friendly competitions — in person, usin’ them table thingies what aren’t even virtual.
But what to play? Well, we were floating around the usual boardgames that had been gathering a patina of dust but nothing was really firing excitement. Miniature wargaming was out, even with Warhammer 40k debuting its 10th(!) edition. Just too expensive…
…or was it?
One of my friends brought up a game he thought had good fun potential and a low “buy in” called Gaslands. What, pray tell, was Gaslands? In a nutshell it was a post-apocalyptic car combat game.
“Oh, like Car Wars?”
“Yes, but this is designed and scaled so you can use Hot Wheels as miniatures.”
Ooooh!
I mean, not just Hot Wheels, any 1:64 scale vehicles will do. I myself had a box of twenty Matchbox cars that I purchased several years ago with the idea that we could take close-up pictures of them as Zombie Ranch references. Alas, the Matchbox 20 (heh) mostly remained in storage… but now was it time to roll them back out?
Dawn and I played a test game and it was utter chaos. In a good way. The rules encourage recklessness and even have a built-in feature so that even if you get your whole team of cars wiped out you can get back in the game. There’s a remotely tuned-in audience, you see, and if you blow up stylishly they love that and will shower your (next) driver(s) with accolades.
So from that you might get the sense there’s a heavily tongue-in-cheek media element to the mayhem, and you’d be right, and combined with the “soft apocalypse” setting which still allows for some amount of civilization, Zombie Ranch wouldn’t feel very far off from the very loose lore so far provided. Heck, there’s even a zombie horde scenario provided where the object is to collide with as many of the posthumous pedestrians as you can — what a waste of perfectly good zombies! But game designer Mike Hutchinson straight up admits he’s less interested in world-building and more just wanted to make a fast-paced game where you can push toy cars around and go “VROOM PEW PEW” and have lots of dangerous and fatal hijinks ensue. Team Sponsors add special perks to spice up the running and take inspiration from Death Race, Mad Max, and even Stephen King’s Christine.
It’s wild in the best way and Dawn and I are already brainstorming some customs for next time. I mean, you can just use your unmodified toy cars, but a quick Google search will show you what people have gotten up to and we still have a lot of bitz packed away from our Warhammer/Warmachine days. And Dawn has her 3D printer which means there’s lots of free STLs for an enterprising lad or lass to grab online.
But still, it’s nowhere near as big a buy in as most of its ilk and you can just write what you’re armed with on a sheet of paper rather than having to painstakingly glue it to your car, if you don’t have the time or energy to do that. You can use thimbles for start and finish gates. All the bells and whistles are totally optional and my group of 40-somethings, several of whom have kids, are not going to judge each other on that score. The rulebook is less than $20 on Amazon right now, and then you buy, print, or excavate some toy cars and you go. Vroom vroom.
Oscar was probably hoping Chuck would talk him down from his suspicions, not escalate them.
We're close to the end of this episode/issue, just a matter of figuring whether the final page will be next Wednesday the 18th or we'll put it up for Xmas. We'll try to drop a notice here and on Facebook once we figure that out, but we definitely want to post it before the New Year.
2 thoughts on “538 – Astute Paranoia”
darius404
Well that’s a pretty damn good question! Another reminder that Chuck isn’t stupid.
Dr. Norman (not a real doctor)
Corpo sponsored snuff films … no surprise there. I wonder what voice over model they use – dispassionate wildlife commentator or enthusiastic conservationist. Or maybe Nascar ?